Parties & Why I Don’t Like Them

Posted: April 9, 2014 in Uncategorized

Fish Of Gold

I live next door to one of my oldest and closest friends. He’s been working in another state since before I moved in. This is fortunate for me since he’s the type to just show up in your house uninvited and put your hand in bowl of water to get you to pee while sleeping. I love him dearly, but he’s an asshole.

His long-time girlfriend has been here though. Every year, she throws a huge party for her birthday. She’s a costume designer so her parties aren’t about just sweeping the floor and putting out a bowl of chips. They are theme parties. Groan. Since she is a Hollywood costume designer, she’s got that Busby Berkeley sense of grandeur.

Just put the bottle of wine you brought on the bar next to the goddamn human fountain. Image from wikipedia.org Just put the bottle you brought next to the goddamn human fountain.
Image from wikipedia.org

This year’s theme was Candyland. Candyland. What? I am vaguely aware that there…

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